In Roman mythology, Cupid is regarded as the symbol of love. He is a naughty little god with wings. He carries an arrow bag on his back and shoots an “arrow of love” at anyone when he is happy. Once his arrow penetrates the heart, people will fall in love with each other regardless. Later, people often use Cupid’s naughtiness to explain the irregularity of love.
However, research by psychologists has found that Cupid is not as naughty as people think, and the “arrow of love” he launched does not fly blindly, but follows a specific law. According to the summary of American psychologist Sharon Breme and others, the occurrence of love has the following rules:
attractiveness of appearance
In an interesting psychological experiment, psychologists showed people pictures of strangers, and then asked them to evaluate them according to their feelings. The results show that people generally think highly of people who are more attractive to the outside world. It can be seen that people are more likely to believe that beautiful people must be good. This bias is particularly prone to occur in the initial stage of communication.
the other party likes himself
In getting along with someone, if you feel that the other party likes you, the feeling of being accepted and appreciated will improve your self-esteem, and thus you will like the other party more; On the contrary, they will feel denied. Even if this person is attractive again, his attraction will be greatly reduced. Because, compared with the good feeling he brings us, we pay more attention to the bad feeling that we are rejected or denied by him.
similar
People with different personalities are more likely to have misunderstandings and disputes in getting along, and long-term conflicts will make both of them feel depressed and tired; People who have more similarities in personality and attitude will resonate with each other because of their consistency. This sense of acceptance will make them appreciate themselves more and enjoy spending time with each other more and more. But there is a situation where “dissimilarity” can also promote feelings for each other: what one party has is exactly what the other party needs. For example, one party is very assertive, while the other party is willing to listen to others’ decisions.
obstacles
People generally have a rebellious mentality, which leads us to be more eager to get and redouble our efforts when we face the threat of not getting or losing. Psychologists have found that there is a “Romeo and Juliet effect” in love: when the outside world, especially parents, strongly oppose two people’s love, the more attractive they are in the eyes of the other party, and the more they can feel strong love for each other.
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