is there really a “love map”
Western scholars have long proposed the “love map”, which means that everyone has a picture of the most loved one in the deep brain. If they meet people similar to this image in real life, they will have a strong sense of closeness and love. The more similar they are, the stronger and more true their feelings of love will be. To explain “love at first sight” with this statement should be coincident. In reality, when you encounter your own “love map”, you will fall in love with it as soon as you see it, and soon you will fall in love with it only when you see it.
The picture of love and love at first sight coincide and prove each other. There is an existing “image” (the picture of love) in the brain, so there is the phenomenon of “love at first sight”. Since “love at first sight” also proves that “we have loved each other for a long time”, which corroborates each other. Since no one denies the existence of “love at first sight”, of course, people can not deny the hypothesis of “love map”.
Since the development of human marriage into monogamous marriage, extramarital love and extramarital sex have almost become an indispensable social phenomenon accompanying monogamous marriage, and it has even to be admitted that it is a supplement to monogamous marriage, because the existing marriage is not the most reasonable marriage for mankind, and there are really few couples with love or lasting love in marriage, Marriage is more of a form of social sexual restriction. Why do most people have different degrees of extramarital affairs in their lives?
Because even after they get married, they still have many opportunities to meet people who are similar to their “love map” to varying degrees, and therefore they will have various degrees of extramarital affairs.
Some people say that love at first sight does not necessarily have good results, which shows that love at first sight is only a temporary illusion, and can not be considered as true love. Of course, “love at first sight” lacks a true understanding of each other, and the distant image conforms to the “picture of love”. When you look closer, the closer it is, the less it is. The closer it is, the weaker it is. When you see its truth, look at its heart, and find that it is different from each other, love will no longer exist, or even turn into disgust
If the farsighted are in love, the nearsighted are still in love, the more they see, the more true they are, the deeper they are in love, then it is considered to be true “love at first sight”.
There are many love stories at home and abroad that fall in love at first sight and fall in love with each other all their lives or accompany each other. In particular, many love stories in Chinese dynasties began with “love at first sight”, because in feudal society, men and women gave and received neither, and girls rarely went out. Occasionally, when they went to a temple fair, watched a lantern, or a handsome man walked by under the window, they would fall into the vortex of love from then on. The popular travel love, online love, encounter love and so on in modern society are also based on “love at first sight”.
what is the difference between love at first sight and ordinary love?
At first sight is the meaning of just seeing. It means to be fast. As soon as the appearance of the other party is reflected in your brain, it will run in with the “love map” in your brain, and react immediately. It is so familiar, so affectionate and so cute. Unlike meeting strangers, you should first carefully study, observe, and even explore each other, constantly understand each other, and make a first impression to judge whether he or she is a good person or a bad person, whether the visitor is bad or friendly, and how secure you feel. Only then can you gradually open up your contacts with him or her. People who fall in love at first sight do not need this process. They feel like old friends at first sight, feel cordial at first sight, and have a sense of trust at first sight. Without thinking, even they themselves can’t understand why they trust each other so quickly, and they have a good feeling for each other
Ordinary love doesn’t usually happen that fast. When we meet for the first time, we feel very fresh and will have a first impression. We can get some preliminary judgments from the other party’s appearance, physical quality, appearance and demeanor. In this process, the appearance we see at the first sight is also very important. For example, when a man sees a very beautiful woman at the first sight, it is normal to have an admiration for her. Because men look at women, the main characteristics of their aesthetic outlook are common. Almost all men will say that a beautiful woman is beautiful when they see her, and they will also love and feel good about her. Of course, this kind of love or good feeling also has the meaning of “seeing” at first sight, but this kind of love and good feeling is only a superficial kind of good feeling. When they really love each other, it is never decided at first sight.
Love is a single-minded, very clear and one-way expression of love. This kind of love is deep and single-minded, that is, there is a special love for him or her, and it is wholehearted. When you are sure that the other party is also in love with you, you will devote yourself wholeheartedly, regardless of everything, and will enter a state of intoxication. You can’t help but forget yourself and go crazy. They are highly sensitive to each other’s every move, word and deed, have a shocking impact on themselves, and have great emotional fluctuations.
Because of strong love, people often regard each other as perfect, that is, the so-called “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”, which is the “halo effect” in love. Love in “love at first sight” is an instant investment that reaches the level of love unconsciously. This investment has less rational elements.
General love has a process of development, and because it is a process of gradual development, even if it has developed relatively mature, its love degree is still not easy to reach the level of obsession or love, and there are relatively more rational elements in general love.
Generally, love can have a good or adorable first impression, and then, due to the increase of contact, communication and mutual understanding, the feeling of love is gradually deepened and love is gradually cultivated.
Generally, love may not have a good or adorable first impression, but there will be opportunities for continuous contact and communication in the future, and gradually develop from colleagues or acquaintances into friends or best friends, and gradually develop into love on the basis of deepening friendship.
Some have never seen each other before, and love arises from text (letters), online information, or telephone communication. Especially online love, with the popularity of mobile phones and online life, is becoming more and more popular.
General love and love at first sight are obviously different not only in the speed of love development, but also in the depth of love.
love at first sight is irreplaceable.
There is love at first sight in the picture of love. After experiencing the first impression to deep understanding, they will be very single-minded, unchangeable and irreplaceable. They will stubbornly identify with each other, and treat those with better and more enthusiastic conditions with no feeling and contempt. Even if you also want to take the initiative to cater to the other party, or even respond to the other party’s enthusiasm or admiration, your self feeling is not in place. Even if you get close to the other party and even have normal sexual intercourse, you can feel sexual pleasure and even orgasm, but you just can’t leave deep love and can’t remember it deeply; They can also accompany each other, constantly communicate, understand and help each other, and can be a good couple in the eyes of ordinary people, but they always feel that they can not reach a high level; Occasionally left, or even broke up for a long time, feeling dull, without profound Acacia; When we meet again after a little farewell, we don’t have much passion. If we meet someone who is more beautiful or chic than the object, we can easily move to another love, act as a third party, and even have an extramarital affair.
To put it another way, those who are prone to extramarital love show that they are not couples who “love each other”, or that they are no longer lovers. There is no need for real lovers to seek stimulation or supplement outside marriage. The transition from “love at first sight” to lasting love is the strongest foundation of marriage and the most ideal match.
the persistence of love
As Engels said, most people’s sex is variable. Men become faster and women become slower. Just because men’s sex is more changeable, men are more playful and tend to be polygamous or extramarital than women. Even if the husband and wife love each other, the trend of men’s extramarital love is still greater than that of women. Only when the woman is more in line with the other’s love map than the man, the love between husband and wife will be more single-minded.
In the real relationship between the sexes, the man pays more attention to sex, while the woman pays more attention to love. The change of the man’s sex will inevitably affect the development of the woman’s love. Therefore, when the woman is closer to the man’s love map, the continuity and development of the husband and wife’s love will be better guaranteed. Many women sigh: “if you can’t find the one I love, just find one who loves me!” It still makes sense.
Our slogan is that it is better to find someone I love and he loves me more. Of course, the best choice should be to love each other persistently and exclusively, and even to the extent of obsession. Only in this way can we “grow old together” and enjoy the true love of life.
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