Ms. Xue, a teacher in a university in Xi’an, has been in love with her boyfriend for more than four years and is planning to hold a wedding in October this year. On New Year’s day, she went to see her future mother-in-law. This was the first time she went to see her parents. Unexpectedly, it was also the last time. After meeting, her boyfriend proposed to break up with her. The reason for breaking up was that her boyfriend’s mother saw a tattoo on her wrist and determined that she was a person with a “story”. It’s really unreasonable to use tattoos to judge a person’s good or bad. It’s even more ridiculous that Ms. Xue’s boyfriend to be broke up with Ms. Xue because of this. It seems that those wrong marriage concepts have been deeply rooted in the hearts of some people.
female teacher abandoned due to tattoo
Example 1: when I was a sophomore, I had a fancy tattoo. Who would have thought it would cause so much trouble
Ms. Xue, a teacher in a university in Xi’an, has been in love with her boyfriend for more than four years and is planning to hold a wedding in October this year. On New Year’s day, she went to see her future mother-in-law. This was the first time she went to see her parents. Unexpectedly, it was also the last time. After meeting, her boyfriend proposed to break up with her.
“When I went to see my parents for the first time, my boyfriend and I were very nervous. I specially made my hair and wore a suit.” She said that just after entering the house, her boyfriend’s parents were very happy.
After dinner, Ms. Xue went to the kitchen to help. When she rolled up her sleeve, her mother-in-law’s eyes stayed on her wrist.
“At that time, I forgot about the tattoo, and thought that the meeting would be very effective. I guess I could get married.” She said that three or four days later, her boyfriend told her that he had to break up with her because everyone in the family objected. After careful inquiry, we found that it was her rose that changed the attitude of the man’s family who had always liked her.
The boyfriend’s mother said that when she saw the girl’s tattoo, her first reaction was that the girl must have a “story”. “I’m in my 50s this year. I think tattoos are very bad.” My boyfriend’s mother said. Knowing the reason for breaking up, Ms. Xue really regretted it. “When I was a sophomore, my best friend and I had a fancy, so we went to have a tattoo. Who would have thought that we would cause so much trouble?”.
Case 2: I’m afraid that children will think I’m a bad mother when they see tattoos, and I’m even more afraid that she will learn to be bad
Ms. Xue’s experience may be extreme, but many girls with tattoos tried to be happy at that time, but they brought themselves a lot of confusion in the future.
When she was in college, Ms. Gu liked tattoos, so she tattooed a small rose on the outer side of her right calf, which seemed to sway with her legs. After having a daughter, Ms. Gu began to worry, “I’m afraid that she will see the tattoo on my leg and think I’m a bad mother, and I’m even more afraid that she will learn to be bad”.
At home, even in summer, Ms. Gu wears a pair of trousers, covering the tattoo area as much as possible. She is too hot to wear shorts even when her legs are sweaty. “My daughter often asks me, mom, are you hot? Why don’t you wear shorts? I don’t know how to answer her.” Ms. Gu said painfully. Sometimes when I wear boots, I feel like a thief. I quickly put my foot into my boots for fear that children might see me.
“I just got back from tattooing, and my mother can’t accept it. She thinks tattoos are bad children, and she still clamors to break the mother daughter relationship with me.” Ms. Gu said with a wry smile. This may be the view of people at that age on tattoos. Tattoos are equal to bad children, but I think it’s nothing, just like makeup, which beautifies myself. But after I had a child, I also felt the mother’s worry at that time. If her daughter gets tattooed when she grows up, she may also strongly oppose it.
how to look at tattoos, the views are different
Everyone’s attitude towards tattoos tends to be polarized, with some firmly opposed and others expressing support. Ms. Feng, who is 50 years old this year, said that her education is very traditional, and she can’t accept tattoos at all. Moreover, many movies and TV shows tell them that those who have tattoos are mostly underworld or young people who have gone astray. Therefore, in their concept, tattooing and learning to be bad are equal. Once her child wants to get tattooed, she will feel that it is a bad and degenerate performance. She must try her best to stop him from taking the wrong path.
Young people have another view. They don’t think so much. Xiao Wang is 20 years old this year. He thinks tattoos don’t matter. He said: “we live in a pluralistic society. We don’t feel like we are facing an enemy. In the eyes of young people, tattoos are like women’s make-up. They have nothing to do with character. They are just a yearning for beauty and a pursuit of self.”
Whether tattoos are good or bad is difficult to discuss. But if you decide to have a tattoo, you’d better consider it carefully. In China, many jobs have restrictions on tattoos, such as civil servants and soldiers, and tattoos are not allowed. If you still insist on tattooing, you’d better choose a regular medical institution to avoid unnecessary harm to yourself in the process of pursuing beauty.
It’s hard to understand that you give up a relationship because of a small tattoo. It is the concept that “a girl with tattoos is a bad girl” that affects people’s judgment, but how can we be bound by these wrong concepts when dealing with love? Let’s take stock of those wrong marriage and love concepts for you to see if these concepts affect your choice of love.
1. If you don’t listen to the old man, you’ll lose.
To tell the truth, many people lack independence in dealing with their own emotional problems. They need to ask their parents’ opinions, listen to their friends’ opinions, and care about the face of others. Girls, in particular, are particularly concerned about the views of their intimate friends.
Cause bad psychological hints: people always feel that the IQ of people in love is zero, and they like to listen to others’ opinions. However, little did they know that in terms of emotion, there were even more peaks on the side of mountains, and there were a thousand Hamlets in the eyes of a thousand people. No matter how good the opinions of others are, they are only for reference. You must have your own independence and ideas. What I need most at this time is that I am the master of my territory.
2. Rely on career to revitalize feelings
Some friends often turn their grief into strength and turn their energy to their career when their feelings are frustrated. Even many elders think that if you are successful in your career, you can have feelings, or you can redeem your original feelings, or you can find a better one. Some people simply regard their careers as their emotional chips.
Cause bad psychological hints: think that career determines feelings. But this is not the case. 1、 Some people are very pure. They only care about feelings and don’t care about careers. At least they don’t look for feelings based on careers. In this case, the careers you have worked hard for are like dung for him / her; 2、 Maybe some people are not pure, and they will recognize your career, but do you think such feelings are pure? Is he / she looking for you or your career?
3. There is no best, only better
Some people think that this idea is very smart. It can make you constantly “improve yourself” and play with your feelings in the hands of the shareholders, which is very rewarding.
Cause bad psychological hints: this view seems to be very “mature”, but it is actually very childish. It makes you lose your judgment on feelings. You always look at your feelings from one mountain to another, and always think there are good things with a critical eye. It often makes you lose watermelons and go to pick sesame seeds. Another, some people hold this view purely to play with feelings, which will make you indifferent to responsibilities in your heart, and in the end, when you want to be serious, it will be too late to regret.
4. How much love can we have again?
Most people who hold this view will think that no matter what kind of feelings, there is a chance to redeem them.
Cause bad psychological hints: they don’t cherish feelings, or don’t pay enough attention to feelings, or they neglect feelings to some extent, because they think that “it can be retrieved”. However, the reality is that sometimes once they miss it, it can’t be retrieved. Looking back, it’s a lifetime. Or, even if some relationships can be redeemed, but love is like a broken mirror, how can we reunite?
5. Divorce is a stain
Many people regard divorce as an irreparable mistake, just like ink on white paper. In fact, I think it is ridiculous to divide people’s marital status into unmarried, married, divorced and widowed. Just as men pay attention to women’s hymen, they divide women into virgins and “women”. Divorce just shows that you have had a relationship, not how you have been
Cause bad psychological hints: divorced people often feel ashamed of themselves, belittle themselves, and take the initiative to lower the standard of choosing a spouse. In fact, it’s unnecessary. Only after you’ve loved can you know how to love. Only after you’ve been hurt can you know how to be strong. At this time, we need to look forward to everything.
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