Wu Tanru holds a bachelor’s degree in law from National Taiwan University and a master’s degree in Chinese Studies and EMBA. Taiwan’s famous best-selling author and program host
He looks beautiful and has a good career. At a blind date, he asked the girl, “will you kneel and wipe the floor?”
The girls all looked at him with wide eyes.
I asked him, “do you want your girlfriend to wipe the floor on her knees?”
He said: “yes, my mother does this. She separated from my father when I was a child. In addition to working to support me, she also has to do all the housework. It’s very hard. She does housework very carefully. She must wipe the floor on her knees and refuses to use a vacuum cleaner. Only in this way can she wipe it clean. I’m always moved to cry when I see her kneeling to wipe the floor. I hope my future wife can be like her.”
On that day, he was not favored by any girls.
In his twenties, he was puzzled and asked me, “are girls so immoral now?”
I said to him sincerely, No. However, if he wants to make a better impression on the girl at the first meeting, he had better not say suggestive words like “find a free nanny”. Which young girl was not nurtured by her parents? Even if she likes to do housework and is used to kneeling to clean the floor, she doesn’t want to conform to a man’s “motherly image” before she falls in love with him. She wants to find a man who loves her, not a man who will only use her as a floor cleaner.
In addition, as long as a man says anything suggestive of “I hope you look like my mother”, most girls will be afraid to keep going with him. This kind of taboo language includes “I hope you learn more about cooking with my mother”, “my mother doesn’t do that”… Men say it unintentionally, but they just feel uncomfortable in women’s ears.
Men also don’t like to let women compare themselves with their father, such as “my father is irresponsible, you can’t be like him”, “my father comes home on time every night, why do you always like to hang out?”
Father or mother is often used as a “love ruler”. Many people will blurt out similar words if they don’t pay attention to it for a while. These words are hurtful and lack basic respect for others. Try to think from the perspective of the other party, and you will understand that these words almost completely negate the existence value of the other party, and the other party will feel that they are devalued, ignored, and used as tools.
Up to now, I have seen many people who demand their other half with “rigid dogmas” and “high standards of traditional families”. Such a person is stubborn, even difficult to communicate in detail, and it will be even more difficult to compromise on major issues. When you are with them, you should be mentally prepared: he takes his sacred and inviolable image of a loving father or mother to find a partner. No matter how hard you try, it is difficult to meet his standards.
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