Men instinctively like beautiful women, but psychologically they need something else; Women sometimes pander to men in order to win their love, and finally complain that they are not respected. How should women solve this problem?
This is because she has no respect for herself.
There are two kinds of pandering, one is charity, which is an excessive pity, in fact, it contains contempt for superiority; The other is to make sacrifices for others or suppress oneself. This is not dedication. In fact, it contains desire – to disguise oneself as a sheep and sneak into the sheep in order to eat mutton. If you don’t eat it in the end, you will be angry.
For example, your character is very wild. In order to get him, you pretend to be a good girl. After being together, he sends you a hairpin. In fact, you want him to send you leopard print underwear… But the hairpin is in line with the image and preferences of a good girl in his heart. You gain intimacy through disguise, but feel that he doesn’t respect the real you. This is obviously because you don’t respect him or yourself at the beginning.
Pandering and harmony are different, just as compromise and tolerance are different: tolerance is acceptance after willing to understand, and compromise is forcing oneself to accept this.
Women want men to be practical and romantic. How to deal with this contradiction?
There are two problems in this. The first is that you can’t want to marry the suave Ximen Qing, and you want him to be loyal to only one person like Wu Dalang. If you choose a man, you can’t just choose his strong points instead of his weak points. This is the basic requirement for everyone to accept another person. You should understand what is the first place in your value ranking? You can’t satisfy the first one and feel that the second one is the most important. Women should learn to control and manage their desires.
On the other hand, we should learn to appreciate different beauty. Love is romantic and intense at the beginning; It’s impossible to remain like this after three years of marriage; By 7 years, it is the aesthetic of conflict, and we should learn to understand each other; In 10 years, we will help each other… The content of different emotional stages is different. You should learn to improve your aesthetic ability instead of requiring things around you to conform to your inherent aesthetic standards.
Some girls pretend to be very innocent and pure, thinking that only in this way can they win love. Aren’t they tired?
Life is not a chapter. If this chapter is not finished, the beginning will be new. Sooner or later, you will return to your ID.
Pretend to get married, pretend to have children? Now the family concept is not in the sixties and seventies. Everyone thinks that divorce is a matter for adults, and children are not bonds. They will not lose a father or mother because of divorce. Do you pretend to be old?
So women need to find people who like and can accept your real state, but the real state does not mean that there are strong women outside, nor at home. Women can have multiple roles. You can have different states in the company, in front of friends and in front of your husband.
Some girls love to play. Men are very happy when they first associate with them, but they can’t stand it and break down after a long time… Why is this?
At the beginning of attraction, you must think that the other party is interesting. This interest may include protection and challenge… This is instinctive, but fun does not mean good. This is the essential difference between love and marriage. Love is fun, but marriage is easy to use. It doesn’t need a playmate but a partner. This is a mature concept.
I have encountered such a case. A woman is very childish. Her husband has been very kind to her for seven years, but he suddenly resolutely proposed divorce, saying, “I gave her seven years and guided her to mature with a very good environment, but she has not changed. She never pays attention to me, only focuses on her love and fun. Since she doesn’t love me, why do we still want to be together?” The woman was completely shocked by this incident, and found that what she loved was not his condition but his condition. What she loved was the environment he gave her to live and play without considering the real troubles. A very important point in marriage is to grow up and support together.
What do you think of women as loving themselves?
If a woman loves herself, she should never be a housewife. A housewife is not a role in itself but a career. She pays energy, emotion and time for her family like work, but China does not regard it as a career. She can’t get the salary, sense of achievement and social recognition she gets from her work. In this way, she will be lost. It may be satisfying to see children grow up healthily and the home is clean, but it is right to do these things well, and it is a sin to do them badly. So if a woman really loves herself, it is to establish a stable possibility that others will buy flowers for her.
You need to understand men. They are childish in heart, like exciting and new things, and are nostalgic and afraid of trouble. That’s easy to do. It’s just like the happy feeling of playing a game to pass the test. When there is fresh excitement in a familiar relationship, he has no reason to leave.
In the relationship between two people, can we hold a man through sex?
Yes, many quarrels in the living room are caused by the discord in the bedroom.
Men like sex and also like fresh challenges. If he relies only on sex, you lose, but if he relies on the sex you bring, you win. For example, you can disguise yourself as Marilyn Monroe or AOI, but as long as he is doing it with others you play, not really with others. A woman who can move is the most beautiful. In modern times, I think moving is a kind of change. A man’s sexual needs run through his life. You need to change and move so that he likes new and exciting things.
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