He grabs your hand and leads you to his bedroom. He starts kissing you, which is wonderful – you have that shivering feeling, half expecting, half excited. Then he began to feel for your clothes… But you were a little scared
You like him, and it seems that he likes you very much. But that doesn’t mean you have to do what he wants you to do.
It was a lazy weekend afternoon. You chatted in his living room with the sun, and then he asked if you wanted something to drink? When you come to the kitchen, he unexpectedly grabs your hand and leads you to his bedroom.
He starts kissing you, which is wonderful – you have that shivering feeling, half expecting, half excited. Then he began to feel for your clothes… But you were a little alarmed.
You really like him, and I hope he likes you as well. But you want everything to slow down. But how can we control the situation without making him feel that you are too serious?
You should wake up: many girls feel that they are forced by their boyfriends during dating. Of course, this can not be equated with rape, but this kind of sex is also lacking in feeling. We know that you have heard such words countless times before, but sex is not just a man’s need. It’s about you two. You can make a conscious decision about when (whether) it will happen between you.
You can go one step further, but the consequence must be that doing so will not affect your feelings. What you need to do is: keep your head cool and control the situation. What’s his feeling? What’s on your mind? When he is breathless and aggressive, you may think:
1. I really like him. If I stop immediately, he will not like me. What should I do?
2. I have kissed him and let him do other things. If I stop now, he will think I’m serious.
3. He said I was beautiful, so he really liked me. He was not using me. He would ask me out again.
Maybe you think differently from these, but it’s probably the same.
The most common idea is that you want to be with him – not only physically, but emotionally, which may be why you consider having sex with him. Because if you don’t want him to be your boyfriend, simply say to him, “I don’t think that’s right.”
Having sex with him when you are hesitant may bring you closer, but you must also consider the negative effects: he may pretend that nothing has happened; Maybe he doesn’t want to go out with you; Maybe he will pretend that he has nothing to do with you in front of his acquaintances. These will break your heart and make you miserable.
Xiaozhuang is a girl with similar experience. She failed to control herself in front of her boyfriend Wei’s sweet words and promises. After the one night stand, her boyfriend made a U-turn in her attitude. He refused to admit that he had had a relationship with Xiaozhuang. Instead, he framed Xiaozhuang as blackmailing him because he wanted to achieve a certain purpose, and even spared no effort to fight to get rid of her entanglement, which made Xiaozhuang eloquent and heartbreaking.
bottom line…
Just because you associate with a boy doesn’t mean you have to sleep with him. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you can’t take the initiative to do anything. So, be bold and do what you like. He will find your confidence and honesty, which is really sexy – he will love not only your body, but also your soul.
change your mind
The first thing you need to accept is that sex without emotional foundation is like Christmas cards sold on the second day of Christmas. You can get it at 30% discount. So your motto should be: no feelings? No sex. If you can always do this, you won’t get yourself into a dilemma: “should I do this?”
Your answer should be “no”, no matter who he is. Do you have any doubts? Then think again: if you are hard to get, boys will think you are more valuable. We don’t want you to pretend to be hard to get, but to make you really hard to get, just like a rare gem. What is rare is special, and you are unique.
So, how he treats you depends on what kind of response you take. Jin Xin and her boyfriend have been dating for three months, but she never lets him get over the top.
“I’m not a conservative person, but I always feel that sex should be cautious. Especially for simple girls like us, when we pay for our bodies, we also pay for our hearts. If our hearts are hurt, it will be quite difficult to heal them. Therefore, until he proves that he is really sincere to me, I will not have sex with him easily.”
control the situation
Now you have some magic weapons to hold your ground. You can find the opposite for every reason he advises you to go to bed. If the war is coming and you are not ready, I will teach you three moves to make your words and actions consistent:
1. I won’t kiss him anymore.
2. Say to him, “I really like you, but I don’t want to do this at such a young age.”
Don’t give in even if he urges me again. For boys, sex is like candy. And you should become that sensible adult and say to him, “no more.”
3. When you speak, get up, fasten your clothes and leave.
If you can’t speak out, use your body language to show him that you don’t want to continue. Turning your head means you don’t want to kiss him again, or remove his hand from your body.
But you still have to say something, “I want to go home, let me go.” Then leave, so that he can understand your attitude. If you are hesitant, he may feel that you will submit if you are persuaded again. This may cause you to argue endlessly.
Of course you don’t want to, so determination is the most important thing. It doesn’t matter if he gets angry about it. Just think clearly: he is a grumpy person. You don’t want to date a grumpy person.
No matter what you’ve heard, men don’t just need sex. However, their hormones make them eager to try (between the ages of 18 and 21, their hormone secretion is the highest), which means that sometimes, a boy’s behavior is dominated more by hormones than his brain.
When he starts to get excited, he will feel very good and won’t stop. It’s a strong physiological response – not a decision made by careful thinking. Therefore, unless you say something to make him understand that he should not be eager for success, he will not stop.
He may say many beautiful things, such as “you are so beautiful”, “I like you very much” or even “I love you”. However, these words are not as you imagined, especially when your feelings are not deep.
Of course, at that time, you were beautiful and sexy in his eyes. He really “loved” you because he thought you would make him feel good. But there is no guarantee that he will still think so after that, especially when he can think with his own brain without being dominated by hormones.
So one of the most important things is, when you are very intoxicated, never believe anything he says. If he still tells you that after that, you can start to believe that he is serious.
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