Hello. Three months ago, my friend introduced him to me, 27 years older than me. The first time we met each other, we felt very good, and then we started dating. Objectively speaking, he satisfied me in all aspects, except that he seldom called me.
He’s very busy. When I call him, he’s either driving or talking about customers. I’m afraid of making trouble for him, so I try to call him as little as possible. However, even if I don’t take the initiative to contact him for two days, he can’t feel my unhappiness. He thought it was abnormal to call all day. For this reason, I often feel broken. Is it difficult to call me and ask about my well-being? He is very busy. We can only meet once a week. When we don’t meet, he can’t remember to contact me at all. Sometimes, he only sends me a text message all day. I told him that since I was busy with work and couldn’t see each other often, I should make more calls, but he always said that it was better to meet each other? Besides, he is not very expressive, and he doesn’t know what to say on the phone. I almost doubt his feelings for me – no sweet words, no passion. But he said to the friend who introduced us that I was very good and he liked me very much.
I had a serious talk with him. Basically, I was talking and he was listening. He listened very carefully, but there was little direct response. Generally, they nod their heads in agreement, but do not argue. He told me frankly that he also had this problem with his former girlfriend. The more he explained, the more he quarreled, and it was more painful. I can feel that he is very tired at work. I just ask him to call me before going to bed, and he agrees. I feel a little better. I really can’t stand that we hardly contact each other as soon as we separate, and he is a person who is not good at words, has little nonsense, and is not easy to promise. Sister Tong, do you think he and I will be happy? (prime)
Emotion expert Chen Tong
Prime:
I understand your breakdown. The reason why we need love is often because we are afraid of loneliness. We want someone who cares about us, is around us, and talks nonsense to us. However, men who understand our needs and can meet our needs well must be familiar and patient.
Maybe your boyfriend is a slow-moving man. You haven’t known each other for a long time. He may not be able to talk to a woman he just met on the phone all day.
Two people never realize that it takes a running in process to get to know each other, to feel good and have feelings. If you want him to talk and chat with you more, and he is dull and does not like to talk, you’d better find a topic and talk to him more, so that he can find it interesting to chat with you, and then slowly develop a habit for him. If he doesn’t call you every day, it’s like he’s missing something.
Women need to use their brains to attract men. The problem between you and him now, to put it bluntly, is to get together less and leave more. It seems that he doesn’t need you at all in the days of separation, which makes you very frustrated. In fact, many times, men, especially male workaholics, are a bit like this. They spend all their passion, wisdom and brains on their work. When they get home, they are tired and become a puddle of mud. If you ask them to chat and talk with you again, he will feel a burden. To deal with this kind of person, either you change yourself and adapt to him. If you can’t change yourself, you can only slowly cultivate him to adapt to you. You should let him understand that feelings need to be paid, and this kind of payment is rewarded. This reward is that no matter how busy, tired and difficult he is, you are his relatives, confidants and lovers, and the only woman in the world who can speak her mind.
Let him like to talk to you, or at least like to listen to you, so that you won’t collapse like now. You’ve been seeing him for only three months. If he doesn’t love you, but it’s purely because of his personality, then you have a chance. Over time, if you run in well, maybe he will change.
Of course, if you can’t change him or yourself, then you have to change people – a man who likes to talk and has endless words with you every day. But I have to remind you that those men who love to talk sweet may have other problems that make you miserable. Therefore, you should learn to deal with the pain you encounter, and don’t doubt the possible happiness in the future just because of the pain in front of you – you ask me, will you and he be happy? I can’t answer this question, because it depends on your own grasp and cognition of happiness. Good luck.
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